Adoption

I believe the worst part of my life was the very beginning. This was also my mother's lowest point.

My father abandoned her and started seeing someone else. I have the letters from 1965 she wrote to him filled with Romance and then pain...Why haven't you come to see me...I saw your car at ----- home last night?? He dated a lady for about 3 months then got bored.

Then the letters turned to her pregnancy and how much she was suffering and the dr bills...He ignored all these. She sent them to his work address. My father had everything and she had nothing- he earned enough money in 1965 to pay for his home in one year. She couldn't even afford a car....

I believe my father promised the women he dated that he would get a divorce and marry them.

The letters end and She had decided to give me up for adoption.

Along with HER Doctor, and his lawyer my father plotted and secretly adopted me -so she would get no money.

But all was about to change--In just 2 short years there was a reversal of fortune. My father became very ill--with heart problems, stress at work and drinking--he was forced to retire on a pittiful disability retirement package. we were very poor. I remember nothing in the house changed for 15 years...nothing new ever came in.

His wife- my wonderful adoptive mother died young when I was 6. My father had no parenting skills.

in 1967 My mother met and married a very wealthy man. He brought her into his home lavished minks, jewelry and cars on her. She never told him about me. He paid for her sons ( my older brothers) college.

She never gave me any financial support thoughout my entire life. I left college with a huge debt- of course- that took me 10 years to pay off. I hardly had enough money for food when I was working on my own out of college.

I am very angry that she never helped me ever. I wrote to her when I was 18 and her husband- the famous guy- read the letter. I guess I was a secret no longer.

I will say I have never wanted children ever. ever! After 14 years of marriage I told my in laws this story....I'm coming out of the closet so to speak since everyone is gone. Including my brother.

My mother died in summer of 2010 and my brother died one week later 2010 with Pancreatic Cancer. Everyone involved is gone. My brother was a good person and admired for his work- I miss him.

In a way I am glad she is dead. It was so painful when i visited her a handful of times...We caused each other visible pain. crazy I know.
Posted on 10/25/11, 11:03 am